What is grooming?

“Grooming” describes multiple actions used by predators to weaken, isolate, and manipulate individuals to prey upon them. Often used to describe child abusers, grooming can be done to adults too, especially in situations like religious settings where the predator holds a position of authority over the parishioner.

Grooming could entail a minister, priest, rabbi, or imam giving a member special treatment to create feelings of gratitude and indebtedness. It can include isolating the member away from group events for one-on-one time. The attention may be accompanied by inappropriate touching, commenting on the survivor’s appearance, or asking about their personal life.

This type of favoritism is often the beginning stage of grooming, followed by secrecy, initiating sexual contact, and controlling the relationship. Recognizing the signs can help ensure survivors that they are not to blame, and could help prevent abuse going forward.

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