Resources for Sexual Assault Survivors

Landon Harlan:
What would you say would be your immediate advice if they’ve been a victim of sexual assault, what is it that they should do?

Jessica Pride:
I would one realize this is a confusing time and the body, when you’re in shock, you’re going, did this really just happen to me? Is this my fault? What’s going on? What do I do realize that that feeling is normal. So there are a couple things that I would advise you to do. One, preserve the evidence. Don’t take a shower, don’t pee, don’t brush your teeth and collect your clothing. Most survivors, the first thing they wanna do is wash away the memory and clean themselves, right? Because they feel gross and disgusting. And so they get in the shower, they brush their teeth, they wash the sheets, they delete the text messages. So I would say the first thing is, is don’t do that, preserve it all. Maybe you don’t wanna have a suit. Maybe you don’t wanna go to the police maybe, but save it in case, you know, in a couple days you decide you do wanna do something, do not delete all the text messages or the evidence.

If you are going to get a SAR exam, which is the exam where they go and they collect evidence off of your body, then you will need to do it the, the sooner in time after the assault, the better, especially if you think that you were drugged as your body metabolizes, the drugs or the alcohol, you are losing evidence by the minute. So trying to get to the hospital as soon as possible. And actually about that in California, most people think, and especially San Diego, that you go straight to a hospital and they’re gonna do your start exam there at the hospital. Not true. The exams are actually done in special centers that specialize in SAR examinations. And so the best thing to do is actually stay home, stay home, and call the police, call the police, let them know what has happened to you.

And they will either escort you, or they will tell you where to go, because it is a a special location, different on every county and go straight to the start center, take your clothes, take all the evidence. You know, if you have to pee, I mean, that’s kind of one of those interesting things, right? Does everyone have a sterile cup at home? Probably not to pee in intake with you, but just try and minimize how much food and liquids you’re drinking, cuz you’re helping your body metabolize. And so you’re not gonna get an accurate count on if you were drugged,

Landon Harlan:
Right? So it sounds like the most important thing for someone to do it in terms of preservation of evidence is whatever may be there. Like you said, from text messages to clothing calling the police is really a big first step.

Jessica Pride:
Definitely. And sometimes that’s a really hard step because people think I call 9 1, 1, this is scary. I’ve never called 9 1 1 and they’re really frightened. So I think the second thing would be is, you know, or simultaneously is surround yourself by someone who loves you and cares for you. Who’s gonna be a support system for you, someone who’s gonna reassure you that it, it’s not your fault. If you’re not sure if you’ve been sexually assaulted, you know, you can call your local rape crisis center. They have hotlines that pick up 24 hours a day, seven days a week and ask them, you can call someone like me and my team, and we’d be happy to talk to you. All consultations are free. So don’t worry about having to pay legal fee just because you call to find out and then, you know, take that support person with you to the start center.

If you choose to do that make sure you take some clothing, a change of clothing because they will take your clothing from you. So, and then after all of those things heal, the biggest thing is to be kind to yourself and to give yourself some self care, whether that’s counseling, whether that’s meditation, a walk going for a run yoga over the next days, weeks, years your body has to process that trauma. And so what tools are you giving yourself to help do that? And as you’re going through your everyday life and realizing like I’m really anxious or I’m more volatile and, and sensitive than normal, don’t beat yourself up about that. Go, okay, this is part of it. I get it. Okay. I need to ground myself. I need to do something for me. If anything, and above all you need love. You need to love yourself more than anything during these times because it’s hard. It’s super hard.